Praying For You

by Rob McAlpine

This article is the grand-daddy of them all. I wrote it in 1983 (yes, I'll admit that), back in an era where I read the Wittenberg Door like it was a second Bible, and seriously thought that acidic sarcasm would help jar the Body of Christ back to (my understanding of) Biblical Christianity and true community.

My first year with George Mercado (1984 - yes, I'll admit that one too) cured me of that. A young teenager naively asked me a wide-eyed wonder question about churches in general, and just as I was about to deliver my (well-practiced) sarcastic slam on how screwed up the church in general was, God spoke to my heart: "How is what you're about to say going to spur him on to love and good deeds?"

That shut my mouth pretty fast. I don't remember what I actually ended up saying to the unsuspecting teenager, but that was the beginning of my continuing journey to recapture the same love for the Bride that Jesus seems to have, despite the condition the Bride sometimes finds herself in.

Read on, cringe, shake your head over my caustic writing 'back in the day', just don't fall into the trap I was writing about (or the trap of writing like I did back then!)

"I'll be praying for you."

How many times do we hear that phrase? More to the point, how many times do we believe it when we hear it? How many times do we come to realize that this tidbit of spiritual jargon is merely an excuse for others who do not wish to take the time to listen, empathise, or hurt with us?

It's really no wonder that people are often unwilling to open up and share their problems with us. We are aware that underneath the superficial smiles and cheerfulness, there are people who are really hurting and wanting desperately for someone to care enough to struggle with them. Yet they seem reluctant to open up their hearts to us.

Maybe it's because they know that we do it as our "Christian service". It could be because they somehow sense that we will share with others that we are "counselling" them. They may guess that, to us, they are just another notch on our spiritual gunbelt. Maybe they instinctively know that sharing their problems with us will only serve to further swell our spiritual egos. It could be that they have learned that we do not view them as real people with hopes, dreams, anxieties, and fears, but as "cases" to be dealt with in a cool, professional "counseling session". Of course, they may have been frightened off by our super-spiritual exterior, not realizing that we struggle with doubts as well.

But surely they must realize that for us to really become involved in their lives would mean that we could stand a fair chance of being hurt with them, crying with them, bleeding with them. That takes time and mutual openness. It's much quicker, less painful, and less involving to simply offer them glib advice, quote Scripture at them, and tell them to simply "Trust God!". It hurts us less. It allows us to keep our spiritual image up, and our human weaknesses concealed. We have to maintain our spiritual image, otherwise, how would anyone see how much we have to offer them?

Anyway, I'll be praying for you...

©1983 Rob McAlpine