Detoxing
From Church
by Rob McAlpine
"Detox"
Defined
 | While in
seminary, one of the many classes I took that related to youth ministry
included "Adolescent Development", which traced what the professor
referred to as the "tasks of adolescence". His basic premise
was that adolescence was a God-initiated process leading a young person
into independent adulthood, and the "job" of youth leaders was
to work with the process, not fight against it. |
Compared
to the common mentality in youth ministry (still far too prevalent today)
which viewed the leaders' job as "keeping the troubled youth involved
in church during their difficult teen years", this was a completely
life-giving, paradigm-shifting revelation. What is called by some "rebellion"
might actually be the normal shift of "individuation" - discerning
the difference would have a significant impact on how you would deal with
the individuals involved.
I believe
it's equally possible to view what some of my friends and I have been
referring to as "detoxing" from church as we've known it, in
the same way - a process that we need to learn how to work with,
not fight against or ignore. Brian McLaren, in his widely-read book "A
New Kind of Christian", has a small section in the prologue which
details the progression from recognizing there is something not quite
right with church as we've known it, going through a tunnel of disillusionment
and disconnection, and finally emerging into a period of renewed vision
for re-constructing.
In describing
what I just referred to as a "tunnel of disillusionment and disconnection",
McLaren observes: "An
individual or group in this phase turns against the old paradigm and can't
stop talking about how wrong, inhumane, or insupportable it is."(A New Kind of Christian, page xi)
Hindsight 2010:
Brian's early writings were a source of thought-provoking reflection for many. But as another Canadian blogger, Leighton Tebay put it, "When I first became interested in the EC people like McLaren were asking good questions. Everyone wants to think their answers are the right ones, so when somebody important asks the same questions and provides vague directions for answers there is a temptation to fill in the blanks with your answers... As time went on the "answers" became more clear (and) I recognized that I really wasn't on the same page."
For me, the difference was that I wanted to explore new ways of doing church, but had no intention of messing with the doctrinal foundations. My own conviction is that Jesus is Lord over postmodernism, and postmodernism (just as the 'Enlightenment' era which preceded it) has no business dictating what Christians can or should believe. |
It is this
part of the process that I've labeled "detox" - the period of
time where individuals and groups go through an intense season of feeling
betrayed, confined, and to a degree, deceived by their previous participation
in a church system that they no longer find attractive, healthy, spiritually
invigorating, or even biblical. They can't help but vocalize their disillusionment,
and finding many people with the same feelings, they begin to realize
that the problem isn't just them and their opinion. And with the popularity
and easy access of the Internet, they find many others on the journey,
with the same pain, and with the same dreams.
It is during
this part of the process - an extremely necessary part, in my view - that
much of the current animosity between disillusioned Christians and the
churches (and leaders of the churches) that they've left can trace its
roots. And it can get, quite frankly, ugly. Big time ugly. |  |
But what
if we can view this as a necessary process (call it a tunnel or whatever)
which, once it runs its course, can actually produce maturity and life
in people and groups? How can we work with the process and not against
it?
Or, to make
use of the Adolescent Development analogy, what are the tasks - and traps
- of the detox?
Loving
the Church Enough to Get Upset
Wendy observed
at one of the recurring heights of disillusionment we have with the state
of the church: "When Jesus said 'I will build My church', this can't
be what He had in mind!"
One of the
tasks of detox is simply to be able to look at the state of the Bride
in today's society, and be able to honestly recognize and admit that we're
in trouble. Yes, part of the problem is worldly ways of thinking, sinful
patterns and addictions in peoples' lives, and selfish ambition (James
3:16) - and part of the problem is that too much of our current church
structure works against our goals and dreams of seeing "every member
a minister" (as the Plymouth Brethren used to say).
 | Sometimes,
the only way people can adequately detox themselves is to completely step
outside the system- usually ending up in a home group or house church
that is wrestling through similar questions of what church is supposed
to look like, and feeling the same sense of disillusionment, and even
animosity towards, what some derisively call "institutional"
churches. |
It is important
to remind everyone that at the bottom of this whole sense of detox are
people who are in love with Jesus, and who want to be a part in the healthy
functioning of the Body of Christ. If they didn't care, there would be
no issues. They wouldn't be upset. They would either leave altogether,
and never again seek out fellowship with other believers, or they would
passively go through the motions week after week and never give their
spiritual state a second thought.
People
are in detox because they love Jesus and have a vision for being His Body
in an advancing Kingdom on this earth.
It's vitally
important that everyone remember this crucial point, and remind each other
of it. Church leaders can take some of the disillusionment less personally,
and those in detox need to remind themselves that this love for Jesus
and for being a part of His Body is the ultimate reason and goal behind
the journey they're on. It is far too easy (and inaccurate) to point the
crosshairs of discontent at churches and their leaders - they aren't the
enemy, even if sometimes they act or talk like it.
Likewise,
church leaders need to remind themselves that these are Lovers of Jesus
who are working through their disillusionment - they also are not the
enemy, even when they act like it, talk like it, or blog like
it. The task is to recapture a vision for the advancing Kingdom expressed
through the Body; the trap is to get sidetracked into attacking the system,
which only breeds ongoing bitterness and contempt for the rest of the
Body.
Getting
the System Out of Our System
Robert C.
Girard's book, Brethren
Hang Loose had a big impact on Wendy & I as young Christians,
and Bob's desire to cut anything out of church programs that got in the
way of Spirit-initiated growth and ministry still captures beautifully
our heartbeat for ministry. The reason I find Bob such a great resource
is that he and his church walked this destructuring road almost two generationa
ago - their journey began in the late 60's and culminated (as a
local church) in the mid-80's, and so he has an interesting perspective
on their fourteen year journey from established church to a constellation of house churches, and back again, that could teach us a lot in the
21st century. |  |
I had the privilege of speaking with Bob on the phone in the summer of 2002. I had been thinking about this whole
concept of detox being a normal, healthy part of breaking out of "the
system" in order to create something vibrant and new, or reform the
existing churches, and I was very curious about getting his input.
Our first conversation was very, very brief, as Bob laughing confessed to having just got home from hip replacement surgery, and he was pumped so full of pain-killers that he didn't trust himself to talk about anything. We both had a good laugh, and at his suggestion, I called back again several days later.
I began by just asking Bob whether or not the whole
idea that people need to detox out of the system, perhaps by leaving
it altogether for a season, was realistic, which he immediately agreed
with. But then he added a second, more mind-bending idea to my original
premise.
 | Bob suggests
that, at some point in time, "the system" was working for us;
while we may be questioning it now, there was a time when we were getting
some kind of perks or rewards from it. Bob suggests that until we, as
individuals and groups, honestly deal with the areas of our lives that
made us enjoy the system at one point - and repent or receive healing
in those areas - we will only replicate the same dysfunctional patterns
and attitudes in whatever structured or destructured group we ended up
joining or creating. (Bob Girard passed away in 2007) |
Friends of ours in Winnipeg once remarked on the similarities to the Israelites who were following Moses through the wilderness to the
Promised Land. Their observation is that the Israelites may have left
Egypt, but Egypt had not necessarily left the hearts of the Israelites.
As told in Keith Green's old song "So You Wanna Go Back to Egypt",
the Israelites had brought their old Egyptian attitudes and demands with
them.
It's a chilling fact that the generation who seemed incapable
of getting Egypt out of their system was the one that ended up dying in
the wilderness. I think there's a very real danger that, if those who
are in the midst of detox do not deal with their own issues (blaming everything
on "McChurch" instead), they will end up "dying in the
wilderness" in terms of their original desire for a more vibrant
and Spirit-led community.
The task
is allowing God to refine our attitudes, desires, and assumptions; the
trap is assuming that the log in our own eye doesn't exist.
So
When Are They Coming Back?
The assumption
can be that once people work through a season of detox, that they'll be
back in the pew "where they belong", ready to take part in the
work of the church.
Maybe. Maybe
not.
During my
phone conversation with Bob Girard, one of the questions I had to ask
was "after your church left its building behind, met only as house
churches, and then completely ceased to exist four years later, what
happened to the people?"
Bob related
that, as far as he knew, all of the people ended up serving in a church,
a para-church ministry, or in missions after they pulled the plug on the
house churches. When I asked him if those same people viewed the 14 year
history of their journey as a waste of time, or possibly even a mistake,
he emphatically said that they felt that their journey together was absolutely
crucial to their maturing as Christians.
Bob says
that those he's talked to have all mentioned that they now lead quite
differently - with a much stronger expectation and practice of community
and being Spirit-led - than they would have had they not gone through
their journey with Bob and the church.
Some people
will detox out of their slavery to, and false expectations of, more established
churches, and will quite possibly be a part of house churches for the
rest of their lives. Others will re-enter "the system", but
the system will no longer control their thinking and expectations, so
they will be among the healthiest and most vibrant people in a church
setting. They will have a deeper understanding of and commitment to authentic
community, and can help the church at large to recapture areas that almost
all leaders will admit (if they aren't being attacked at the same time)
need re-imagining and re-vitalization. They will be a blessing, not a
thorn in the flesh. And still others will find a way to detox while still "in" the system (i.e. they won't actually leave the church during the process), with similar results. |  |
The task
is for leaders and disillusioned people to walk through this process with
some graciousness and long-suffering; the trap is to separate into increasingly
polarized and finger-pointing camps.
Conclusion
There is
a human tendency to want to prove that one way (our way) of expressing
the gathered Body of Christ is somehow superior to all others, or (if
we're attempting to sound humble), at least more effective in creating
the first century church dynamic that everyone wants to experience and
have flourish around them. This attitude is usually referred to as "pride"
in the Holy Scriptures, and the last time I checked, God's not impressed
by it -- quite the opposite, in fact (James
4:6).
There is
also another human tendency that wants to rush people from point A of
the detox to point B as quickly as possible, so we can all "get on
with the job/ministry". But what if community health IS the
job/ministry? That means it will take time -- which is a source of dismay
for program-driven people and a source of relief for relationship-hungry
people.
As the old
saying goes, "time heals all wounds". While most of us today
would recognize that statement as a wishful-thinking over-simplification,
part of the healing that detoxing from church will produce does
require time. And therefore it will also require patience (on both sides).
And some long-suffering, too. Oh, and less striving. Don't forget to mix
in some grace and mercy. Learn to live with less agendas. Liberally add
lots of love.
 | Perhaps the
biggest task for established churches and newer, de-structured communities
(house or coffeehouse), and individuals (like me) will be to remember
that this is ultimately God's thing. It's His Bride we're talking about
here. God is fully aware of the state the Bride is in. He's more proactive,
loving, and desirous of Her being healthy and attractive than any of us
are capable of being. The trap we need to avoid is to let this whole (very
necessary) process of detoxing from inadequate models of church leadership
and church structure to polarize and further divide the very Bride that
we're so longing to see come to maturity and health. |
©2003-2010
Rob McAlpine
|