Wired For Death
Things that make me go "hmmm...":
Why are all church leaders assumed to be power-crazed?
Why does it take (according to some) 10 statements of affirmation to off-set a single statement of criticism/negativity?
It seems to me that, ever since Genesis Three and the Fall of Man, we're wired for death. We'd rather believe the worst of each other. We'd rather believe the worst of ourselves. Everyone craves words of encouragement, but on a scale of one to ten, words of death sink deeper into our souls than words of life.
We seem, as a culture (even as Christians), to be wired for death. We speak death to each other more easily (if unintentionally), and we tend to put more weight on words of death spoken to us. Try this exercise:
A revolution of words. Not just refraining from speaking death to others and believing it over ourselves. That's like what some have called "the gospel of sin management" or "the death side of the cross".
How about a revolution built on words that give life? Yes, guarding our tongues and plugging our ears against the words of death, but more than that -- pro-actively choosing to speak life to those around us, starting with our spouses, children, and neighbours. Most of us "get" the idea of the first half of Galatians 6:8 -- that we reap destruction by sowing to the flesh. Maybe choosing how we speak, in light of Proverbs 18:21, is part of what is meant by the second half of Galatians 6:8: "the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life."
 | Why are supermarket tabloids so successful? Why is gossip so predictably believed and spread? Why do we assume all politicians are corrupt? |
Why does it take (according to some) 10 statements of affirmation to off-set a single statement of criticism/negativity?
It seems to me that, ever since Genesis Three and the Fall of Man, we're wired for death. We'd rather believe the worst of each other. We'd rather believe the worst of ourselves. Everyone craves words of encouragement, but on a scale of one to ten, words of death sink deeper into our souls than words of life.
"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." (Proverbs 18:21 NIV)Wendy and I just finished a week of teaching at our YWAM base on Relationships & Community, and this verse from Proverbs was one of the key verses for the week (another was Jesus' warning about not "lording it over" each other in Matthew 20:24-28). The week of teaching went really well -- Wendy & I make a good tag-team -- and we were reminded yet again about the power of our words in the lives of those around us.
We seem, as a culture (even as Christians), to be wired for death. We speak death to each other more easily (if unintentionally), and we tend to put more weight on words of death spoken to us. Try this exercise:
- List 10 words of affirmation that have stuck with you ever since you first heard them.
- Now list 10 words of death that have stuck with you ever since you first heard them.
- Which list was easier to recall?
- Which list had more emotional triggers?
A revolution of words. Not just refraining from speaking death to others and believing it over ourselves. That's like what some have called "the gospel of sin management" or "the death side of the cross".
How about a revolution built on words that give life? Yes, guarding our tongues and plugging our ears against the words of death, but more than that -- pro-actively choosing to speak life to those around us, starting with our spouses, children, and neighbours. Most of us "get" the idea of the first half of Galatians 6:8 -- that we reap destruction by sowing to the flesh. Maybe choosing how we speak, in light of Proverbs 18:21, is part of what is meant by the second half of Galatians 6:8: "the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life."
posted by Robbymac at
10:27 PM
5 Comments:
bill johnson's church, bethel, in redding calif. occaisionally goes on a "negativity fast" for 40 days.
where a situation would call for something negative to be said about someone, they try to stop and find a POSITIVE thing to say instead.
good words, Robby. Thanks for starting my morning on this note.
Excellent post, Robby. Our tongues wield more power than we understand. May we live by the Spirit more and more so that we will walk and talk by the Spirit. May we heed the words of Ephesians 4:29 - Ephesians 5:1.
I did a little thinking about the exercise you gave us to do (I didn't actually do the exercise) just to see what I would recall... on the upside, I can recall a handful of positive things spoken over me, most from family & friends, and one or two from christian leader/prophet types, but what really stuck out was not the negative words spoken but the lack of anything. At all. Especially from my (so-called)leaders. Nothing. Reminds me of something I heard at a couple's retreat, the guest minister talked about "the blessing", and how it is important to speak life (bless) to your spouse, family, & all relationships. In all he spoke (which was really good), what really struck me was that the meaning of the Greek word that we translate "curse" (sorry, I forget the actual word) literally means "to dam up". In other words, we curse people when we don't or won't speak life to them.
Have you ever experienced this... a leader standing in a pulpit grabs a cup of water and sticks his finger in it, then proceeds to pull it out and tell the people that "this is how much your leaving will affect us" (In case you didn't figure it out, the people leaving are the finger, and the congregation is the water). Doesn't that create a fairly unpleasant feeling in you, that after all the years of involvement with these people, if you move on without being "sent out" that you had no value?
P.S. This example was not directed at me mind you - it was a blanket statement to anyone who leaves without being "sent out".
Maryann,
A "negativity fast" -- now THAT'S a spiritual discipline that would bear a lot of fruit, methinks!
Cindy,
Good morning, and good journey today!
Brian,
Amen, brother. I especially like the part of the passage you recommended that says "and do not give the devil a foothold..."
KSG,
The leader-and-the-water example you shared is just sick and abusive. If people were thinking of leaving already, this would seal the deal. It would've for me, anyway. Truly appalling.
Yes, I have noticed that there is a noticable LACK of words of affirmation from leaders, unless of course, they're affirming other leaders or their "inner circle".
Have you seen A Former Leader's post on leadership? I greatly admire this person's honesty, vulnerability, and humility for posting this. Truly remarkable and praise-worthy.
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